Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
