NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
