erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
nutella sex= disaster
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
