Whod you bang
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
