My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
