His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
