yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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