I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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