Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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