school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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