No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
