As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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