You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We are all done wearing pants today
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
