She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
