I'm jealous of your bromance
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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