So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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