Whod you bang
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Boobs are out for the taking
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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