and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
