dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
