Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
