yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Randomize
