WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
