fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
