You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
