they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
