Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
