its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
