I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize