i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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