well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize