No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
