I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
