He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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