I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
