my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
