I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
