Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
