I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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