I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
