Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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