I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
