I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
