Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you

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(602): View more from Arizona

the head trauma was worth the blowjob.

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(516): View more from New York

I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here

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(914): View more from New York

Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.

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(212): View more from New York

I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"

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(404): View more from Georgia

Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.

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(702): View more from Nevada

So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.

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