If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
