dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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