Whod you bang
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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