Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
