Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
