Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
