She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
