its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
