Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
50% drunk capacity currently
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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