I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
