I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
