I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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