U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just tell him i said nine months
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
this beer tastes like vomit already
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize