i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
