): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
