So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
