I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
