I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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