she pinky promised me she was 18
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
