And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize