I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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