oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize