Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
