Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
