loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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